This article is well worth the read for anyone in a relationship (and for anyone who wants to be in a relationship).
As someone who’s been in a relationship for a long time (but is far from good at it), here’s my advice (feel free to read with caution):
Ninety Nine percent of the fights you will get into are utterly absurd. Walk away for five minutes. Ten minutes. However long it takes for your heart to slow down and your breath to steady. And then ask yourself, “Does this disagreement really matter?”
One percent of the time, it will. If it is real – go back, sit down with your partner, and talk it through. Those are the times you really need to be willing to be completely open with your partner and share everything. Don’t try to ‘win.’ Simply try to understand how you both are seeing the situation. You will be shocked to discover how well honesty can solve those important disagreements. And I promise you, the reasons we all started the fight are never the real reasons we’re fighting.
Ninety nine percent of the time, it won’t. Let those go.
Know when it is worth arguing it out. And know when it is worth admitting you’ve acted like an idiot and you shouldn’t have fought in the first place.
And I will readily admit – I’m an idiot most of the time.
February 27, 2014